Communication tip

Here’s how I communicate with my STBXH these days.
I write him one email a day. I start it in the morning and save it as a draft. I title it with the date.
During the day, as things come to me, I add them to the email.
I revise it as I go.
Generally, I find that if [...]

On creating rituals

I’ve decided that, once I become single again, I want to have a ritual of some kind. I’m not talking about a divorce ritual with my (ex)husband, we’ll take care of that by getting a traditional Jewish get. I’m talking about a ritual recognizing the transition from being married to being single – for me. [...]

Thank you

Dear soon-to-be ex-husband,
Thank you for deciding that you wanted a divorce.
Two months after you dropped the bomb, I am in a completely different place than I was then.
I’m looking forward to my life and to no longer taking care of you.
To not having to put up with your dishonesty with others and yourself.
Because I had [...]

Can we talk about the garbage?

For all the years that we’ve lived in a home where you actually have to put the garbage and recycling at the curb (as opposed to when we lived in a condo with that wonderful invention – the trash chute), it’s been his job to put the cans out.
Well, for many of those years, it [...]

Walking away from me, and walking away from responsibility

I’m realizing that he not only is divorcing me, but the dogs, the kids (who, thankfully are adults), and the house. He says to me that when he wakes up in the morning he just feels peace.
Why, of course he does.
Why wouldn’t he feel peace? He left me with the 50 year old house with [...]

Go ahead, fire me…

At our dinner the other night, we talked about what we would be looking for in another relationship. Now, I had more pre-marriage relationships than he did, and several of them were pretty serious, given my age at the time. And since he dropped the “D bomb,” I have thought a lot about what kind [...]

The growing realization

In the last almost-two months, I’ve had a lot of time to think about my 30 year marriage.
I’ve concluded that (a) we were never soulmates and (b) I was not a better person for having been married to him. Really.
We went out for dinner Friday night after visiting my mother in the hospital (we still [...]

Things I never thought I could do

I’m a reasonably successful woman, I think. I mean, I’m a college graduate, I’ve been working for over 20 years, I run a small business from my home, and I managed to raise two kids and not kill them in the process. But there are always those things that I left to my husband to [...]

Divorce is funny

No, really.
I think divorce can be funny. Then again, I always manage to find some humor in anything. Even funerals. Even splitting up after 30 years of marriage.
Take sex. When he left, I worried that maybe the last time he and I had sex would be the last time for me. Oh no! If I [...]