Cupidtino opens

Single? Want to date? Have an Apple device?

Check out Cupidtino (ha ha – get it?)

I’ll let you know. I’m totally going to sign up as soon as the site’s working properly.

More on bogus online profiles

Gentlemen,

Do all you phony online daters have to use photos where you CLEARLY googled “hot half-naked older man” or “good-looking older man wearing a suit standing on the beach”?

Seriously!

Snobbery, and a trip to the grocery store

Snobbery

I really never considered myself a snob. Well, much.

Hard reality: yesterday I had coffee with a really nice, highly intelligent man (we met on Brainiacdating.com – seriously). I was enjoying the conversation, even though I suspected that there is no possibility of more than coffee. He has an adult son with autism, and is pretty upfront about being committed to taking care of him.

All was well. Until he mentioned the new Pergo throughout the double-wide.

Done.

The grocery store - I’m taking myself on a field trip to a grocery store later today. I realize that to you, the general, food-eating public, this is not momentous. People go to grocery stores all the time. Even single people. Even newly-divorced, “I don’t know how to cook for one after cooking for four” people.

I have gone grocery shopping since Mr. Ex moved out. But it’s been more of the “run in, buy yogurt, run out” shopping, unless I was entertaining (which, frankly, I didn’t do much in the last year). What have I been eating? For the most part, particularly since youngest moved out, it’s been quickie meals; roast chicken; take out; eat at oldest’s; happy hour (okay, quite a few of THOSE). Eggs. Bagels. You get my drift, I’m sure.

I realized this week that taking care of myself must include indulging in something that I’ve always enjoyed, which is cooking and baking. The whole onion roll adventure was part of that, and last week’s beef bourguignon and chicken enchilada soup day was another. So, today, I’m taking myself to a NEW grocery store (well, new to me), Perusing without a list. Gasp – buying on impulse. Because I want it.

The problem, of course, is that if I cook it’s too much for one. Perhaps having ComEd come out last week to take away my old full-size freezer was not the best timing. But I may have a solution to that. I found out yesterday that our school secretary and his live-in girlfriend are a little low on cash (how shocking – a colleague of mine not making enough money to live . . . she says with a touch of irony). He already works a second job, but I guess things are still tight. I’m guessing that they may be willing to help me out with the leftovers . . .

Anger management: update

I responded to Mr. Lives-in-the-city-and-doesn’t-drive that I didn’t see how my saying that I don’t drive into the city during the week judgmental, and wished him well in his search. That’s pretty much online-dating-speak for ‘get lost.’

He sent me an email saying, “Whatever. You have my email address. The ball’s in your court.”

How true. And that’s where it’s staying.

Anger management

So I’ve been trading emails with someone from JDate. I’m not extending my paid membership beyond the end of this month, so it’s a last ditch effort.

He’s nice on email, seems interesting, educated… the good stuff.

Unfortunately he lives 30 miles away – about 5 blocks from my late mother’s condo. I know that drive well. Very well.

And the bad news is he doesn’t drive.

So… if I’m going to see him, it means that I’m driving into the city to do it.

I sent him an email explaining that the hour drive is too much for me to do during the week. I work until 4 or 5, and to then get in the car and drive an hour is too much. And, of course, there are the dogs… I wasn’t nasty, just honest. I also said that we could see how the weekend would work out.

I got a pretty strongly worded response that he was angry by my judgmental & accusatory email. Seriously. I’m not sure how my response was judgmental and accusatory.

Oh well.

What are they waiting for?

Observations upon perusing Match.com this evening…

It’s been about a year since I signed up for JDate and Match and I spent a little time going through Match tonight. So many of the faces are the same as I saw last year, including;

• one man I emailed who responded that he wouldn’y get involved with me because I was too new to the divorced scene
• one man I emailed who never responded, and
• one man I emailed who responded to me that he wasn’t dating right now because his father is ill (and yet, that didn’t seem to stop him from logging in that evening and many times since).

What are they waiting for? Is the problem with online dating the abundance of women on these sites? Are they afraid that someone better will come along?

Is it weird?

To log into JDate and see that the last person who looked at your profile is your ex-husband? Just sayin’

to my Jewish friends – happy new year!

My online profile consult . . .

I had my online profile consult with E. last Monday. Her name is really E. – I’m not just using bloggery first initials instead of names here. Anyway, she had some great suggestions. If you’re interested in a consult yourself, you can check out her website. She was terrific to work with and I continue to be grateful to JDate for their terrific customer service and for providing an opportunity for me to have some of E.’s time.

She trimmed my wordiness, to start with. You know, if JDate says that I can have 500 characters – damnit I’m going to use all 500 of them. She suggested that I cut them. Seems men don’t want to read as much as I thought (who would have guessed?).

She also suggested that I get rid of the photos of me with gray hair. I like the photos, but since I’ve started to, um, chemically enhance my hair, she felt it would be confusing to potential dates.

So . . . men don’t like to read and they’re too visual, I guess. Perhaps someone should create a graphic novel (otherwise known as a comic book) version of a dating site. I love it! You could have questions like:

1. What kind of superhero would you be?
2. Who would your sidekick be?
3. Who’s your favorite arch villian?

Sorry . . . I digress.

So I made my changes, including being a little, eh, vague on the “past relationships” question. That was another of E.’s suggestions. She said that she didn’t actually love that JDate has that question and that you shouldn’t put anything in there that sounds negative.

I did love it when she said that some of my remarks made me sound “Bitter. Funny but bitter.”

Hah! Well, at least my personality comes through on my profile . . .

So, anyway, I made my changes and we’ll see if anything comes of it.

And one in your pocket . . .

My brother has a philosophy about buying lottery tickets. He buys his every week, but he doesn’t check it until the next week. That way, when he loses, he can tell himself that the winner may be in his pocket.

That’s the same as emailing a man a day on JDate. If this one doesn’t respond, there could always be a winner in my pocket . . .

The quest continues . . .

So emailing one JDate man a day isn’t as easy as I thought it was. Obviously, it’s easy to find men – doing a basic search for a man within an 11-year age range within 40 miles of my home turns up 166 names. And that’s kind of a narrow window; obviously, if I expanded my search range I’ll expand my options.

That’s not the problem.

The problem is that JDate just doesn’t give me anything to go on. Frankly, I find the Relationship questions useless.

Hi. I see you’re looking for someone with whom to go to the movies. I like movies . . . want to go out?

Why, hello – I see you’re looking for a long term relationship. Well, so am I!

Greetings. I see that your perfect first date would be to chat over a cup of coffee. Well, what a coincidence – so is mine!

And the Basics – the About me section isn’t much more help. Usually there’s just not enough there to help me out with a sensible email. Unless someone’s mentioned a common interest or occupation, it’s a struggle to find a good intro.

I wish that JDate had some icebreaker type of questions similar to OKCupid or Match. Even trivial stuff like favorite movies, books or foods – it would give me a little more material.

The problem is that, when I send an email, I like for it to reflect why I’m interested in emailing HIM. If they want to read about me, they can go to my profile. I know that when I receive an email from someone on an online site I like to know why they chose to email me.

Just my two cents’ worth.