Choices

I stopped on my way home the other night to pick dinner up for myself. It was Friday night, and I was going to be home alone. I’m okay with it – I had a busy weekend coming up and I needed the downtime. What I didn’t need was to cook, so I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few groceries. Now, everybody knows that the grocery store has become a great place to pick up ready-to-go foods as well, so I figured I could pick dinner up for that night; something that didn’t need to be prepared.

Flickr Loves Sushi. Mmm.
Image by drp via Flickr

Sushi? Roasted chicken? Frozen something? Salad bar? Deli? Pizza?

That’s a lot of choices.

First I put sushi in the cart. Mr. Sushi special for  $9.99. Really. Seemed like an easy solution.

Then I walked around for a while.

Hmmm. Did I want something hot? How about the roasted chicken? Or a pizza?

Or did I want to just get some deli stuff and then have it for the rest of the week?

I put the sushi back and grabbed a chicken. Then I put the chicken back and took a pizza. Then I put the pizza back and bought two rolls and a package of liverwurst. Not even kidding.

Here’s the problem. I don’t know how to deal with choices, when it’s choosing for me only. I spent 30 years making meals for 2, 3 or 4 or more – one of whom was a vegetarian, and two of whom were children at various stages, which automatically limited choices. I’m not a picky eater (perhaps that’s my problem); I like almost everything and I’m not afraid to try things that I’ve never eaten. I eat spicy; I eat veggies; I eat meat; I eat flour; I eat peanuts.

In other words, I’m screwed. Too many choices and I don’t know where to start.

In therapy yesterday, the therapist said to me that I have the rest of my life in front of me, and now I can do what I want to do.

And that would be….. ?

It’s too overwhelming.

For 30 years my choices have been limited by my situation, my responsiblities and my role in life – wife, mother, partner, provider. Now what?

I’ve done the 100 things in 1000 days list – you can see it by clicking on the link. I guess that’s a good place to start, but even that seems like a daunting list of choices.

I need to start smaller I think. Tomorrow – my “to do” for March…

And maybe I’ll grow beyond the liverwurst (which, incidentally, was delicious).

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Filed under Creating a new life, Empowerment, Singleness, Transition

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