Scoping out online dating

Okay. So the last time I dated, Gerald Ford was in office. Things have changed.

When I last dated, online dating would have been picking someone up while waiting to buy a movie ticket. Now, it’s a whole industry.

I’ve spent the last almost-six months looking (stalking?) the online dating sites. I’ve been reading profiles, looking at photos, thinking about what would appeal to me. In a purely academic way, you understand. At first I did it to verify to myself that men my age still had their hair (well, most of it, I guess) and teeth. Now it’s gotten to the point where I think I’m going to actually have to PAY for a membership so I can see who’s emailing me.

In the meantime, though, I have some thoughts about online dating. Actually it’s not really dating, I guess – it’s more like online shopping. I mean, I would expect to still actually date – y’know – face-to-face. It’s like when the signs on the road say “radar controlled speed.” It’s not really radar controlled – I mean it’s not there’s a giant sheriff with a remote stopping me from speeding (wouldn’t that be radar controlled?). And why would they want to do that anyway – then they would lose all that revenue…

Sorry. I digress.

Anyhow – I’ve been reading these profiles and I have some thoughts. Of course I do. And perhaps some tips for people posting their profiles.

1. Take a good picture. Seriously. It’s the age of the digital camera, people – post a clear picture. And not one where you took your own picture using the computer camera. Did you know that usually when you do that you’re not really looking at the camera? Really. You’re looking at the computer screen, not the camera. Does not make for a good photo.

2. I don’t care what your dog or baby niece looks like.

3. I don’t care about your car. Really. If I was I’d be looking at Carmax.

4. USE SPELLCHECK! Maybe it’s the teacher in me, but I don’t believe that I could seriously date someone who can’t spell. And learn the difference between it’s and its and your and you’re. If you have to, don’t type the profile into the web browser – type it into Word and copy it and paste it into the browser – after you’ve checked the spelling and grammar.

5. According to my profile-reading, every man over 50 loves to cook, loves to cuddle, loves to take long walks and is intelligent, hard-working and considerate. How interesting.

6. Finally – get real. You are over 50, you have considerably less hair than you used to, and a belly and ear hair. You will not find a woman who’s 35, slender and earns over $100,000. Just sayin.’

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2 Comments

Filed under Dating

2 responses to “Scoping out online dating

  1. Kaye

    I decided to try online dating about six years ago. One of my ideas was to look within about a 300 mile radius, figuring if I found someone I was interested in, it wouldn’t be too hard to meet halfway. I deliberately stayed away from anyone in my own home town, reasoning if they turned out weird or it didn’t work out, I wouldn’t have to worry about meeting them on the street.

    I did find someone with an amazing sense of humor and I corresponded with him for six months before moving to live chat, then telephone, then face to face. It was a completely positive experience, and we dated for over two years. You can get to know someone very well through correspondence (lengthly emails daily), and the phone calls verified my initial positive impression.

    If I were looking for companionship at the present time, I would utilize online dating in a nanosecond. After you read a few ads and send a few emails, you get a pretty good idea if you’re interested.

    Standard disclaimers apply, of course. (Meet for the first time in a public place, be sure people know where you are, etc.)

  2. Debbie Harris

    Kaye – that’s so encouraging! I keep hearing these horror stories – you give me such hope!

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