Tag Archives: Optimism

And you think your life sucks?

Need a little dose of inspiration? Go here.


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To be 16 again…

I’ve found the fountain of youth.


Wanna feel like an adolescent again?

Have your husband of 30 years leave you.

No kidding.

It puts you right back to being a high school junior and your boyfriend broke up with you the week before prom.

The angst, the agony, the blow to your self esteem.

I know what I’m talking about; I spend a lot of time with junior high kids. I see them sobbing in the hall after breaking up with the boyfriend, the whispered consults in the lunchroom, the evil-eye glances across the computer lab.

Yup. I swear, I’m no different. If I know that we’re going to be in the same place, I pay more attention to my appearance. It’s not that I want him to look at me and think, “Wow! She looks great! Forget the divorce!”

I just want him to eat his heart out. Just like my 8th graders would want.

I get the same lift from hearing my half-deaf, half-blind mother tell him that he’s fat that my 13 year-old students would get.

Yesterday I spent some time with my daughter’s friend, who’s living on his own after just graduating from college. As I shared “cooking for one” tips with him like keeping the pot of coffee for three days and nuking as needed (really – it’s fine. Just use a little more flavored creamer), I realized that we had much in common; he lives on his own, doesn’t have a partner, is trying to figure out what his life is going to look like in the next year.

Me too.

Of course, I’ve got the wisdom of being much older and having lived through a lot more. What I’d like, though, is the excitement of starting anew; the feeling that the future is brimming with possibilities and that I can do anything as long as I want it badly enough.

Hopefully that’s around the bend.

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Belongs in a (really large) fortune cookie…

A fortune cookie
Image via Wikipedia

Evolved individuals know that people who are not intuitive can be dangerous to work with, since they are guided solely by the appearance of things that are, in reality, changing. Evolved individuals seek out others who have intuition and vision – a form of intelligence that comes from cultivating the instincts, observing the direction of change, apprehending the evolution of ideas ~ Lao Tzu

Okay, not really a fortune, but I really like this.

What does it have to do with divorce? Or making a new life as a single, middle-aged person? I’m focusing on the part about cultivating one’s instincts, observing the direction of change and apprehending the evolution of ideas. I think that, as an unhappy married person, I was all about ignoring my instincts, since that’s what allowed me to stay in a mediocre marriage in the first place. As for observing the direction of change – I think that right now my life is all about change, and resisting it doesn’t make sense, so you have to take this time to let the change in life kind of take over and be open to the new ideas – new paths – that will appear.

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Belongs in a fortune cookie…

fortune_cookie1(Thank you , Allie) I know – easier said than done. I keep telling myself that worrying about what will happen won’t change it. I’m trying very hard to differentiate between planning for what might happen and worrying about it.


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Divorce in the Age of Obama

the 44th President of the United States...Bara...
Image by jmtimages via Flickr

Barack Obama will be sworn in today. I will be watching in the gym with 300 middle-schoolers.

I’ve been thinking a little about what this means to me, a midlife divorcee.

In many ways, I see the change in America mirroring my change. Or is it my change in mind mirroring America’s? I don’t know. Whatever.

Today, as Obama takes over the reigns, I see an increased optimism in America. “Yes, we can.” An acknowledgement that the government – and its citizens – have made big mistakes but now see the need to change. An attitude that, while the road won’t be easy, the rewards are out there and we can get there. A fundmental belief that better times will come.

At Obama’s acceptance speech, he said, “This is our moment, this is our time…”

Mine, too.

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